Do Knot Disturb was one of the worst movies I've ever seen. By far the worst Bollywood movie I've had the displeasure of sitting through.
THE STORY
Raj is married to Kiran but having an affair with Dolly. Since Kiran controls pretty much everything in their marriage, Raj can't really leave her to be with Dolly. But when a disgruntled former employee sends Kiran a picture of Raj and Dolly together, Kiran gets suspicious with Raj's excuse. Luckily for Raj, another person happened to be in the picture, one Govardhan. So Raj concocts a plan to make it look like Dolly and Govardhan are in a relationship, thereby throwing suspicion off himself. However, things never go as they should in this attempt at a madcap comedy and with Dolly's ex-boyfriend Diesel in the mix, Raj's carefully laid plans could blow up in his face.
THE REVIEW
Wow. I mean, I've seen bad movies before but this one takes the cake. Do Knot Disturb was easily the worst Bollywood movie I've seen. I can't say I've seen a ton of them, but I've seen enough to know good from bad. And in the thousands upon thousands of movies I've seen in general, this one makes the 10 worst. I'm not even sure where to begin. I'll start off by saying the two good things about it - it looked like it was shot on digital film so at least it was clean looking. And Lara Dutta is hot. Beyond that, the movie had little going for it. First off, I don't understand why to this day so many Bollywood films feel the need to dub in all the sound after they finish filming. It makes the movie look and feel so cheap and often times the dialogue and visuals don't synch up. For a film that looked so good, the dubbing was horrible and really brought the film down. It's not like they filmed a lot of stuff outside where they couldn't control the background noise. And adding cheap sound effects - like a 'boingggg' - here and there just made it worse.
The story was beyond ridiculous. Somewhere in there, there was a chance at a decent, if nonsensical, story. In the right hands, the basic plot could have been OK, but not the way it played out here. I won't go into all the story elements I hated but let's just say there were dozens of things that were so bad that it was almost funny. But not quite. Sometimes Bollywood movies sacrifice story but still have a likeable cast and some great songs that help carry the film. Not in this case. All three were bad.
I didn't like any of the characters in the movie. Yes, Lara Dutta is hot, but her character is annoying. In fact they were all annoying. Let's start with Raj - could he be more of a whiny bitch? I mean, really. And what does he have that would make someone like Dolly love him? He whines, he has a lot of money yes, but it's all apparently controlled by his wife. He's overweight and not attractive. And did I mention he whines? Then there's Dolly, a hot actress who dismissed one boyfriend to run to Raj but shows absolutely no reason why she likes him. She tends to whine too. Then there's the sad sack Govardhan who is thrown into the middle of this mess. You feel a little sad for him except he's also an annoying whiner who you'd like to see slapped around a little. Kiran was decent enough, except kind of moronic and manipulative. Diesel was easily the whiniest of all of the characters. For a guy with anger management issues, he certainly cried a lot. And for some strange reason all the men in the cast had this habit of raising the pitch of their voices the more they whined. At one point it went on for almost 10 minutes. Not one of the characters was likeable enough for me to latch on to.
I'm not big into Bollywood music, but there are some things I like, and I think I can pick out a good song here and there. This movie had none of that. The lyrics could have been written by a 10 year old. And the dancing was uninspired. Perhaps this cast didn't have a great dancer in it. I think the only thing this movie had going for it was that it was relatively short for a Bollywood film, coming in at just over 2 hours. But you could leave after 10 minutes and not miss anything. It is possible if an editor took control and chopped out 45 minutes you could get a decent film out of what was left. The movie was close to being a 'so bad it's funny' film but after a few minutes it hopped over that and into the 'so bad it's really bad' arena.
THE BOTTOM LINE
So overall, I really, really disliked Do Knot Disturb. There is literally no reason to go see it.
I didn't like any of the characters in the movie. Yes, Lara Dutta is hot, but her character is annoying. In fact they were all annoying. Let's start with Raj - could he be more of a whiny bitch? I mean, really. And what does he have that would make someone like Dolly love him? He whines, he has a lot of money yes, but it's all apparently controlled by his wife. He's overweight and not attractive. And did I mention he whines? Then there's Dolly, a hot actress who dismissed one boyfriend to run to Raj but shows absolutely no reason why she likes him. She tends to whine too. Then there's the sad sack Govardhan who is thrown into the middle of this mess. You feel a little sad for him except he's also an annoying whiner who you'd like to see slapped around a little. Kiran was decent enough, except kind of moronic and manipulative. Diesel was easily the whiniest of all of the characters. For a guy with anger management issues, he certainly cried a lot. And for some strange reason all the men in the cast had this habit of raising the pitch of their voices the more they whined. At one point it went on for almost 10 minutes. Not one of the characters was likeable enough for me to latch on to.
