Written by Eric Bress Directed by David R. Ellis Running Time: 1:22 Rated R for strong violent/gruesome accidents, language and a scene of sexuality D

The Final Destination was pretty much what you expect to be, only worse.

A bunch of people escape death at a race track. But then they all die anyway in more and more gruesome ways, because Death doesn't like to be cheated.

It was kind of funny watching The Final Destination because the filmmakers gave up on any sort of story or characters. It was simply a movie showing people die. Oh, and trying to get you to think they're going to die one way, but then swerving you and showing them die in another way. That was really about it. You see a group of 4 friends at a race track when one of them has a premonition that they're going to die so they leave and take a few people with them. Of course there's a massive accident and a bunch of people die. But since these guys were supposed to die, Death now will track them down and kill them anyway. Because Death is like that. He doesn't take lip from anyone. When it's your time, it is your time and there's nothing you can do to stop it. So don't go into this movie thinking you'll give a crap about anything because you won't. So we'll skip over the relative attractiveness of the cast and the ridiculous dialogue and go right to how people die. In the premonition sequence, we see people get their head cut off by flying tired, get their bodies sliced in half and have large pieces of concrete land on them. Sounds decent right? Except the CGI in this film was AWFUL! I swear they must have had some kid in his basement do the death effects because they were horrible. Absolutely horrible. These were special effects from the 90s, not from today. Where did they spend the money? Because it was all really bad. I mean, if you're going to forego a story and characters and dialogue and concentrate on elaborate deaths, shouldn't you go all out and actually pay for them? The creepiest (and best) scene in the entire movie was when one of the characters was getting a pedicure and she had a knife scraping her toenails. Everything else was lame.

Let's continue with the deaths, as far as I can remember them. I think my favorite death involved the kid in the bottom of the pool who got sucked into the drainage hole. It was funny because he spent what seemed like 5 minutes underwater holding his breath. And it was disgusting because he was disemboweled. All in all, a decent attempt by the filmmakers. What else... you had the racist dragged down the street by his own truck and set on fire and then the truck exploded and so did the racist. You had a guy in a hospital have a water tank fall on him. And you had a guy hit by a car. Oh and there was another premonition sequence where there was an explosion and someone getting eaten up by an escalator. That one was kind of cool I suppose. Except in the story it didn't actually happen.

I also saw this movie in 3D which means I paid way too much money for absolutely nothing. To this day I still believe the best use of 3D in any film was My Bloody Valentine - another horror film. That film was decent for the genre, but the 3D effects were tremendous and actually made the film a ton better. Here, they added nothing because the effects looked so bad. So save your money and if you really feel the need to see this movie (and I have no idea why you would) see it in 2D and save yourself some headaches.

So all in all, if you're looking for a good scare, skip The Final Destination and see something else. If you're looking for good bloody effects, skip The Final Destination and see something else. If you're looking for a way to throw money down the toilet, then go see The Final Destination.

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